"Just keep talking, just keep talking..." (Add music notes)

"Why courtship?"

I have been asked that a good bit lately.  When I was growing up, I do not remember hearing about courtship.  I grew up in a very conservative Christian home.  Dating and boys were not really "encouraged" until I discovered dating in college.  Multiple boyfriends, the term "going steady", break-ups....some would say that it is part of growing up...it is just part of life. 

Now, as my husband and I have prayed and followed God's leading as far as raising our children, we are doing what we know is right for our family.  You might not feel the same way for your family, and that's fine.  I don't think there is a formula that gives us the perfect solution to courtship.  I have done a lot of questioning and researching only to discover one thing....there are Bible principles that we can follow.

God continues to fine tune our beliefs as far as raising our children.  Definitions of terms (courtship, engagement),and opinions on how things should be handled will vary.  I know that each of my children are so wonderfully different that even courtship will vary as each gets to experience this.

In our home courtship is a period of time where the young woman and young man get to know each other better under the guidance of their families. Courtship is not a promise of marriage.  It is a wisdom-guided relationship that could possibly lead to marriage.  Our young man has asked us several times if there is anything that he needs to work on.  Why?  He desires to make sure things are done decently and in order...and he cares for our daughter.  Our daughter shares what is going on in her thinking and her heart with me...(several late nights sharing... treasured  times!)

In an article written by Joe Lechner, he presents some thoughts to consider for the courting couple.

 ~ Does your relationship reflect joyful obedience to God’s Word – even in the details?

~ When our relationships are characterized by obedience to God’s Word, we are saying that God’s commands are good and that he deserves to be obeyed – and thus God is glorified.
The selfless desire to do what’s best for the other person –
~ In this relationship, am I fully committed to sincerely serving the other person and not my own selfish or emotional desires?
~ Am I fully committed to trusting God and allowing him to draw us together, if it be his will, rather than trying to manipulate the emotions and desires of the other person by excessively flirting or saying and promising more than I am ready to commit to?
 A selfless desire to do what’s best for the other person is the natural overflow of a genuine love for God. To love God means you’ll love others, and you can’t truly love others unless you genuinely love God. This is why understanding the goal of courtship and what makes a courtship “successful” is so important.
How true this is!

Remember the part in the movie Nemo,  "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."?  I thought of this because our courting couple is encouraged to keep talking...keep talking...keep talking.  Question each other, share with each other, and be honest with each other. 

Examine yourself with the above questions.  Keep the finding out things about each other.  Ask the Lord  to help you keep your focus.